In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes

This year I made a conscious decision to tackle hurdles. Not on a football field but in my mind, those stumbling blocks that have prevented me from fully living. Doing all the things that I have always deemed too risky, too costly, too dumb, too mortifying, etc. like singing karaoke, skydiving, taking salsa lessons, etc. We all have those things, hangups that keep us from living the way we want to. Sometimes it might be harboring an ill feeling toward a colleague that makes work uncomfortable or an argument with our spouse that goes too far on a bad day but those change our perception of these people.

What does this have to do with this book? This is a book about discovering and forgiving yourself. Not the superficial you that looks back at you in the mirror or greets the clients during the workday. The real you. The base level of your soul, your true character. It takes some serious self-exploration to tackle but it’s a task worth doing. Why? Once you discover who you are, you can begin to heal all the broken pieces and find peace and forgiveness for yourself. Then, by extension, you begin to share that peace and more freely give forgiveness to the world around you.

Eckhart Aurelius Hughes has written this book in the hope that, if only a few, find that grace inside ourselves, we can send it out in waves that will radiate in ever-growing circles throughout the world. The spark that lights the match that catches the whole world on fire. As the title says In it Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All. I haven’t quite found the beauty in the struggle yet but one day I hope to.

This isn’t a book to read on a crowded plane or during your coffee break. You need time, some paper and pencil, and a clear mind to soak in the essence of what he says. I made numerous little notes to myself and bookmarked some especially eye-opening pages. I think you will too. The one that resonates with me, and one I will use on a near-daily basis, is that we are not our memories. That one simple line printed on a page doesn’t sound like it could change a person but let it sink in, and wash over you. It’s such a simple but amazingly complex and freeing thought!!

The tone throughout the book is scholarly with hints of humor. I know so many people have spent the last 2 years doing some self-improvement work and could benefit from this book but I worry that it will go over the heads of many. He has made it as reader-friendly as he could but it’s not a starting point on a healing journey. It’s not the first book I would recommend. If you’ve spent some time with a therapist or doing some real self-reflection, this book could be the next logical step.

My rating? 3 out of 4 stars. Three very solid stars. I would go as high as four but the overall tone makes it less user-friendly to self-help newcomers. It’s a polished, well-planned, thoughtfully written addition to the self-help niche that I believe can help a lot of people find grace for themselves and eventually for others.

No One Crosses the Wolf by Lisa Nikolidakis

This is a memoir about a troubled childhood full of abuse and neglect. It’s not an easy read and I wasn’t looking for one. It follows her growing up years with her brother and parents and all the trauma you can imagine.

Her father is a piece of crap, to put it lightly. He is an alcoholic that spends most of his at-home hours terrorizing his family. When he isn’t home, they dread his coming home so they are never truly free of him. After reading her recollections of him, I can understand that fear.

And her mother isn’t much better in comparison. She doesn’t abuse the kids but she doesn’t stop the abuse either. She puts her head in the clouds and pretends that everything is just fine. Domestic violence doesn’t go away because you want it to, you have to stop it! Her mother failed them all.

When her father finally snaps, I expected more somehow. More untangling the emotional threads of her life. More in-depth onion peeling. I wanted to see her do the hard work to undo all the lessons that her upbringing taught at such high prices. But she did none of it. She drank, slept around, and went to Greece. I’m healed!!! The end. What?? Yeah, I’m confused too.

My first inclination was to give this a 2-star review. I mulled it over though, for several days I might add. Three is as high as I can go. She writes well. She knows how to create an atmosphere and add texture and shade to a story but in the end, there’s no story. There’s no healing final chapter. There’s no Oprah “Aha!” moment. And that is a true letdown.

⭐⭐⭐ /⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Filthy Marcellos: Lucian by Bethany-Kris

I finished this book yesterday and I’ve still been fence sitting about it. I can’t say I loved it but I didn’t hate it, and that’s all I can say.

Lucian has a very complex past. It got confusing and tiresome. His dad is really his uncle or something. His aunt is really his dad’s wife? I’m from Appalachia and I had trouble following this. That shouldn’t happen since my region is known for incest. (Look up the blue people of Kentucky.)

I loved and completely adored his family though. If for no other reason, I would have finished this book. They each have traits that make you fall in love with them. Read it and tell me differently.

Jordyn was, by turns, both brave and incredibly stupid. That wore me down quickly. She fails to make a decision, which is in itself a decision and then suffers the consequences, but I felt like she never owned that her own inability to make a decision is what caused it. She just seemed to gloss over it. She was also naive in ways that someone with her backstory shouldn’t be. She had grown up rough and should’ve had a better understanding of the world.

The writing! Most of it is fine. Some of it is distracting, aggravating and…I had to put the book down and walk away. She chooses words that while technically correct aren’t the common variation and it pulls you out of the story. Or at least that happened to me over and over. Your mileage may vary. I could list them here but honestly, read the book. You might not find a single example, but I found several. Also, her sentences sometimes ramble to the point of being nearly unintelligible. If I have to read something three times to figure out what might be being said, I’m over it.

The length of the story was okayish. Some of it needed to be edited for clarity and some just needed to be edited. For instance, when Lucian is completely obtuse in a conversation and it doesn’t sink in until later, and sometimes much later. Hello? How old are you again? Ten? No, twenty eight. Really?

The villain in the book, and their reasons for being the villain, at least as far as Lucian is concerned was so obvious. I wanted to slap every one of them. It was something Jessica Fletcher would have known before Colombo could’ve asked one more question. These people need to watch more 80’s TV.

The names of the characters. If she would’ve changed the name of his mom to Carmella this would have been the Sopranos. Antony, Paulie and Cecelia? In New York and the Mob? Mmmm almost!!

The sex. These two were bunnies on Viagra. Angry? Sex. Lonely? Sex. Hungry? Sex. I swear I don’t know why they bothered to wear clothes at all. And they had sex while they were both seriously injured in such a way that their libidinous impulses should have been dead for a few days or heck, even hours. But nope. They didn’t let anything stop them from acting like two adult movie stars.

In the end, three stars. I want to read Dante’s story but I just don’t know if I can go through with it.

⭐⭐⭐