No One Crosses the Wolf by Lisa Nikolidakis

This is a memoir about a troubled childhood full of abuse and neglect. It’s not an easy read and I wasn’t looking for one. It follows her growing up years with her brother and parents and all the trauma you can imagine.

Her father is a piece of crap, to put it lightly. He is an alcoholic that spends most of his at-home hours terrorizing his family. When he isn’t home, they dread his coming home so they are never truly free of him. After reading her recollections of him, I can understand that fear.

And her mother isn’t much better in comparison. She doesn’t abuse the kids but she doesn’t stop the abuse either. She puts her head in the clouds and pretends that everything is just fine. Domestic violence doesn’t go away because you want it to, you have to stop it! Her mother failed them all.

When her father finally snaps, I expected more somehow. More untangling the emotional threads of her life. More in-depth onion peeling. I wanted to see her do the hard work to undo all the lessons that her upbringing taught at such high prices. But she did none of it. She drank, slept around, and went to Greece. I’m healed!!! The end. What?? Yeah, I’m confused too.

My first inclination was to give this a 2-star review. I mulled it over though, for several days I might add. Three is as high as I can go. She writes well. She knows how to create an atmosphere and add texture and shade to a story but in the end, there’s no story. There’s no healing final chapter. There’s no Oprah “Aha!” moment. And that is a true letdown.

⭐⭐⭐ /⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Her Name Was Bitter: A Memoir by Mara D. Johnson

She was raised in chaos. Her father raised her and her brother in the same house as his rape victims. He did drug deals, beat his domestic partners and even allegedly killed a man while being hunted by the police. He taught them to hustle and they never forget it. It wasn’t the traditional childhood, even after they go to live with family. It only changed geography, nothing more. She was sexually abused and neglected and had no one to stand up for her. She grew into an adult and chaos followed. This is the story of the chaos that was both thrust upon her and that she caused to befall herself.

I have no doubt that being raised in that kind of environment warps your sense of right and wrong. I believe that you do the best you can with the skills you have and make many mistakes along the way. Most of us learn from those mistakes and never make them again.

Sadly, that is not the case for the author. Instead, she is proud of her mistakes and brags about them in bold terms. The book is chock full of self congratulation and brags, both humble and otherwise.

Spoiler Alert

She starts the book by way of an apology to the daughter she gave up for adoption at 13 after being abused by her cousin. It seems entirely sincere and makes the reader think that she is writing in an effort to make true amends. This is nothing more than a lie that she tells both herself and reader. The adoption allowed for some contact and she claims that the book is her way of doing it since she has never before been able to find the right words. Already I was confused. She could write to her daughter about anything but foregoes that opportunity over and over again.

She will become pregnant a total of 5 times in the course of the book. After the adoption of the first one, the others were her way of trying to keep a man. We all know how that goes in real life.

Speaking of opportunity, she never misses an opportunity to do the wrong thing. Never, not once. She writes about making good grades in school, her intelligence, her ability to make money, how caring she is toward those she loves but never hesitates to break the law, use drugs, get drunk, She gets legitimate jobs but never stays in them.

She also manipulates those around her with money. I have no illusions that she would argue against that but she definitely does it. She complains about her family and boyfriends/husband using her but as long as they need her money she gets to come off a sweet, caring person. Really, what she is doing is manipulating them into continuing to need her.

In the end, she finds God. I’m shocked I tell you! Shocked!! She then proceeds to preach at the reader in a rambling fashion, claiming that God is using her to spread the word. Unbelievably, she uses God as an excuse for telling a woman that she had been having sex with the woman’s boyfriend. I wouldn’t want to stand next to this woman in a lightning storm!

Can I recommend this book? Ummmm…No. It gets 1 egg because I don’t have an image with zero. It’s filled with errors in punctuation, language misuse and badly needed an editor to keep on target.